Imagine you are meeting someone for the first time. You want to tell them about yourself.
It was well after midnight or later probably. I really didn’t know the time but what I did know was that they were home and had been drinking again.
They were arguing. I hated when this happened and it happened to often.
This night it was particularly bad and they weren’t stopping. They got louder and meaner sounding.
I tried to block it out by covering my head with a pillow, it didn’t work. It never did, nothing did.
All to soon my mom was waking us and loading us in the car. We left as they yelled at each other again. We were all scared and on the verge of tears but none of said anything. We were to afraid.
She had no idea where we were going as usual and we ended up sleeping in the car. I don’t remember much more of that night.
I blocked a lot of it out.
Time passed and again they were drunk. They were fighting as usual, but this time my mom saw what it was doing to her life and decided to get help.
My mom went to rehab and left us kids with our step dad. He didn’t see what the drinking was doing to him and our life and kept on doing it.
He was drunk. Angry. I don’t know how it started. But I know that it ended with him hitting my brother & sister and us running to the neighbors to get away from him.
I hated what my life turned into. We were stripped of our childhood.
We ended up in foster care for a while. I don’t remember much. I blocked it out.
The drinking and fighting continued on and off for many years and finally it got to me and I moved into with my dad.
I stopped blocking things out.
I vowed that I would never let do that to my children. I vowed that I’d always be there for them. I vowed that I’d never turn into an alcoholic.
This is only a glimpse of my life. A glimpse of a small portion of my childhood that I actually remember.
I should mention that all that I vowed is true. I am not an alcoholic and am not making the mistakes they did.
This is not the first thing I’d tell someone, but it is the first thing that came to mind.